Several months ago...
I had just laid Titus down for a nap when I heard..."Bang!" I thought to myself "was that a gun shot? Surely not, it is the middle of the day!" Because we are out here in the country, a gun shot is not that uncommon of a sound to hear. People are always shooting at things...wild hogs, stray dogs, loud toads, house flies, you name it, our neighbors have probably shot at it! However, at this time of the day, hearing a gunshot was a little out of the ordinary.
"Bang!" There it was again, and it sounded SO close! I looked out the front window...nothing.
"Bang!" "Good grief!" I thought, "What is going on?!" I ran to the kitchen window to look out across the backyard...and there she was. Gun in hand. Pink, polka dotted rubber boots on her feet. A determined look on her face.
"Bang!" Rattled by the sound again, I made my way to the back porch.
"MOM!" I yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" She didn't even look my direction...just kept her eyes fixed on the ground under a big pine tree and answered with a sharp and deliberate "SNAKE!"
"A SNAKE?! DID YOU GET IT?!"
She blew at a piece of hair that had fallen in her face and answered, quite frustrated, "NO...I AM OUT OF BULLETS!"
I hurriedly put on my pink, flowered rubber boots and took off across the backyard. "Oh brother" I thought as I realized what I probably looked like and what I was about to help with, "our neighbors have rubbed off on us!"
As I got closer, I saw it. Black and ugly. It was curled up in a striking position and seemed to be glaring at Mom...and her gun. (She had already shot four times and didn't even get close to hitting the awful thing. Yet, there it sat...unharmed...waiting...stupid creature.)
Mom took off toward the shed, telling me to watch the slithering monster, while she went in search of more bullets. Being the respectful daughter that I am, I kept my mouth closed and just stared after her. As I glanced once again at Mr. Ugly, however, my silence ended. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!" I yelled. "YOU ARE GETTING MORE BULLETS?! YOU WERE STANDING 5 FEET FROM THE THING AND YOU MISSED...FOUR TIMES!! YOU CAN'T SHOOT...I CAN'T SHOOT! LET'S JUST CHOP IT'S NASTY HEAD OFF WITH THE SHOVEL!" Mom whipped her head around and yelled back "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH IT! I'LL BE RIGHT BACK...AND WE'LL JUST SHOOT IT!""Shoot it?!" I sarcastically thought, "Like you just did?!"
As she slipped into the shed, I locked eyes with the serpent and cringed. It glared back at me, hissing... it's cotton white mouth wide open. (I can honestly say that I hate snakes! Roaches are a close second...but snakes...eeww...they just make me shiver!)
I heard the shed door slam and soon, mom approached us...holding a hoe. I looked at her, then at the hoe. "No bullets?"I asked. "We're out" she answered as she threw a disgusted look at the reptile. Right then, as if it understood our conversation, the snake stretched out and began to slowly slither away. "MOM! GET IT!" She looked at me like I was crazy and yelled back"NO! YOU GET IT!" I grabbed the hoe from her and reared it back. I slammed it down, aiming for the neck...I hit the middle. The hoe bounced off the scaly back...I screamed...Mom screamed...and the snake, unharmed, kept slithering. It was headed for the fence. "WE CAN'T LET IT GET AWAY! GRAB THE SHOVEL!" she yelled. I grabbed the shovel that was leaning on the tree and took off through the gate, into the pasture. (Mom was thinking of the grandkids...but all I could think about was winning the battle!") The snake slithered under the fence and then stopped. (As if to laugh at us.) Mom leaned an outdoor chair cushion against the fence, saying it was to protect her legs, and then climbed on the fence and leaned herself over. I came around with the shovel. As I got close, Mom pressed the hoe blade against the snake's neck. (The blade was not sharp at all but at least it held the creepy thing still!) As she pressed down, I smashed the poor thing's head to smithereens! Who's laughing now, Mr. Snake?! You lost the battle!
After that day...we decided that we needed to learn to shoot! So...we went to the dollar store and bought a target...
and we practiced...
and practiced...
with multiple guns...
with multiple targets...
we practiced...
and...we actually got a little better!
This morning, after the much needed rain, I saw Mom rushing, rather quickly, from the chicken pen. I asked her what was wrong...and she looked at me and said "there is a snake above the nesting boxes!" She went inside to get her gun and then headed back to the pen. "Wait for me!" I excitedly shouted. Mom shot a few times...and then I did. After my second shot, the snake fell to the ground. Success!
I am not sure why God created those awful things! Posionous...not poisonous...big...small...it doesn't matter...they are ALL repulsive!
Though they are disgusting, ugly, and extremely terrifying creatures, they have sure given us something to laugh about these last few months!
Hopefully, they have given you something to laugh about too! :)
