PSALM 30:11-12

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever."
Psalm 30:11-12

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

"A Mother's Song"


“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12

Last Tuesday, my 6 month old, Elias, had a surgical procedure done. He was so happy when we brought him into the hospital room; full of smiles. As the nurse took him from my arms and turned to walk out the door, he continued to smile at me over her shoulder. I followed them to the doorway and watched as they walked away. Soon, that happy face disappeared through the OR doors and I was left standing there. My infant son didn’t know what was coming and I couldn’t prepare him. I had to just let him go. 

I am his mom. Yet in that moment, I couldn’t protect him. And in the days that followed, as his body worked to recover from the surgery, I couldn’t take away the pain. I so wanted to, but I couldn’t. His body had to heal and I had no control over it. 

So I held him, I rocked him, and I prayed for him.

I prayed for him like my mother prayed for me when as a young wife, my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer, just four months after we were married. I prayed like my mother in law prayed for her son, my husband. His name was Michael. He fought hard, for four and half years. He remained full of faith through it all. His courage and his boldness for Christ, in midst of the pain, made a lasting impact on the people around him. I know for a fact that our mothers prayed for us during that time. They prayed without ceasing. They prayed scripture over us. They spoke truth to us. And by the grace of God, we were able to stand when everything around us was crumbling. 

I prayed for my son, like my grandma prayed for her son, my dad. He was diagnosed with leukemia just 2 and half years after my husband was diagnosed. He too fought hard, for 9 months. He fought till death; full of faith. And the lives that were changed because of the way he lived and gave God glory through his cancer, are too many to count. And I know, that his mom was on her knees for him through it all.

The outcome isn’t always easy. And the pain is real. But our God is a loving God. He is a Sovereign Savior and He is the ultimate comforter. 

He gives peace to the fearful. Rest to the weary.
He comforts those who mourn. And he gives strength to the weak.

He hears the cries of his children and he abides in the prayers of his people. 
And the prayers of a praying mother are powerful. 

Elias’ procedure was minor. The pain was temporary. But his surgery reminded me, once again, that I have no control over this life. And although I can love and care for my 3 kids to the best of my ability, I cannot protect them from the pain of this world.

But I know who can.

And so I pray for them. 

I pray that Jesus would be their everything. The one they turn to when life gets hard. Who they praise when they're overcome by gratitude. Who they seek when they need answers. Who they long for when they need fulfillment. I pray they run to His feet for forgiveness, that they find hope in the scriptures, and peace in His presence. 

I pray for them like my mom prayed for me.

From childhood to adulthood. She prayed.
When I was a newlywed till I became a young widow. She prayed.

My oldest son, Titus Michael was born just 3 months before his dad died and a year after his grandpa died. Titus means “giant.” According to science, he shouldn’t be here. But he is. His life has been a huge comfort to our family and is a daily testament to God’s faithfulness. 

I was a single mom, unsure of what the future held…and my mom prayed. 

A few years later, I won a radio giveaway trip to Israel, and it was there that I met my husband Bryan. We were married a year later. 10 months after that, Silas Isaac was born. Isaac means “laughter.” And every time I hear him laugh, I’m reminded that joy really does come from sorrow and laughter from pain. Elias John was born this past October. John is my dads name and means “God’s gracious gift.” And thats what he is to me, a gracious gift from a loving father. 

My mom’s name is Janet. Her name means “God’s gracious gift” as well. And what a tremendous gift she has been to me and to the whole family. 

To have a praying mother. There is no greater blessing. 

Female vocal artist, Bethany Dillon, wrote  about her children:
“You’re the best song I’ll ever write, and I pray you’ll hear Jesus in it when you’re older.”

I have heard Jesus clearly in my mother’s song. 


He is the reason that we sing, the reason that we live, the reason that we pray. He’s the reason we have breath, the reason we have salvation, and the only hope we have of heaven. 

May we never loose sight of that truth; may we never stop praying. May our life song proclaim Jesus to our children and to those around us. Because one day, we will leave this unpredictable and often painful world and we will enter into a kingdom that can never be shaken. Praise God!

Mother's Day 2018
(Titus-7, Silas-2, Elias-6mo)