PSALM 30:11-12

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever."
Psalm 30:11-12

Friday, November 30, 2012

"True Grace"

I don't know about you, but for some reason, I struggle being thankful.

Last year, however, when I first started my gratitude journal, I wouldn't  have said that...

In all honesty, I would have said that I was pretty good at it. My days are FULL of "thank yous!" Aren't yours?! Aren't everybody's?! I mean really, who doesn't say thank you to the young lad who opens the door for you, or the bagger at the grocery store who hands you your groceries? Or when a police officer gives you a warning instead of a ticket...surely I am not the only one whose feelings of frustration immediately disappear and are replaced with feelings of gratitude! "Thanks!" "Gracias!" "Merci" "Xie Xie!" I have said this little, common, jam packed word in numerous languages, in multiple countries. I've taught it to my son, signed it with my students. Gratitude is a part of my being...it is a part of who I am. I am a small town southern girl...of course I am thankful!

Or so I thought...

I started last September...recording my thanksgivings...making my lists...thinking I would reach 1000 in no time!

But here I sit, November 30, 2012...one year and two months later...and I realize...the task I embarked on was not as easy as I had first thought.

Although I have finally reached 1000 this month, I can't help but wonder...

am I truly getting it?

Am I really thankful?

Do I really see?

Are my eyes even open?

Oh, to live a life full of thanksgiving! To inhale...to exhale...every second...every day...nothing but pure and selfless gratitude.

How can I do this? I long for it! Will thanksgiving ever consume me? Oh, how I want it to! Not just in November, but all throughout the year!

I ask, I question, I seek...and soon, I am reminded of this simple truth:

in order for one to know true gratitude...

one must first know true grace.

"Oh God, open my eyes! Open my heart! Reveal my sin and bring me back to the foot of the cross! For it is there, and only there, that I will see my need for a Savior. It is there that I will experience true forgiveness, and it is only there, in Your presence, that I will find and know true grace."

As my journey continues...even past 1000...my prayer is that I would constantly be reminded of Christ's sacrifice on the cross and never loose sight of God's glorious grace.

1011. Singing praises in Fort Worth with Uncle Ched and cousin Hope...so beautiful!


Happy Thanksgiving!