PSALM 30:11-12

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever."
Psalm 30:11-12

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Man in "The Man Song"

Michael Piatt. The man of my dreams.

Was it love?

Absolutely!

Was it love at first sight?

Well...not exactly...

In Sixth grade we met...and he annoyed the fire out of me. Being the pastor's kid, he always seemed to "know it all" in Sunday School. He was small, he was cocky, and he drove me completely crazy.

Our Junior High years came and went...and still, my feelings for him remained true. He was the annoying friend of my annoying twin brother. They even looked alike...which made things even more annoying!

Early High School, the annoying duo became even closer friends. They learned to play guitar (acoustic and electric), and oh the "jam sessions!" The LOUD jam sessions! All they talked about was playing their music and starting a band. Need I say, Annoying?

By late High School...he started getting taller. He actually got pretty good on the guitar and began writing songs. He felt the Lord calling him to the ministry and he began preaching a little bit and even leading in worship. He went on mission trips and grew passionate about sharing Christ with others. He grew bold in his faith. He grew older. He grew cuter. He grew more annoying? Not so much.

The summer before our senior year of high school, we both went on a mission trip to Africa. He went to Kenya, and I went to the Ivory Coast. As excitement grew in both of our hearts and we began to prepare individually for our journeys, we couldn't help but be excited for each other. We also couldn't help but feel a connection to one other. We were going to the same Continent! A Continent where no one else in our church had been! That fact amazed us both and gave us a reason to meet together weekly for prayer. During those times we prayed for each other, for the missionaries we would meet and work with, for the people groups we would encounter, and for the individual missions we were about to embark on. It was in those prayer times that God changed my heart. It was in those prayer times that "annoyance" disappeared and in its place "attraction" emerged.

We officially began dating in December of 2001. That next August, we both headed to Nacogdoches to begin our Freshman year of college at Stephen F. Austin State University. Those four years of college were some of the best years of my life. I had an unbelievable boyfriend...one that I didn't appreciate enough. He loved me deeply and unconditionally and I didn't deserve him. He was patient. He was so very caring. He was wonderful. Although he was ready to get married right out of high school, I was a bit slower. It wasn't until our Sophomore year of college that I realized I was head over heels for him, and Fall of our  Senior year, he proposed.

June 10, 2006 we were married...and oh, what a beautiful day it was! We had an unbelievable summer together. I will forever be thankful for the time we had together as husband and wife before cancer; no matter how short it was. He was such a wonderful husband. Our first apartment came together so beautifully...and all I had to do was point! He was such a handyman. Such a hard worker. Such a servant. He truly loved me like Christ loved the Church. I was blessed beyond measure!

When cancer hit in October of 2006...he remained solid. He was the one who was sick...and yet, he was the rock in our relationship. He reminded me constantly of God's faithfulness. He would remind me of His Sovereignty in all things and gently lead me back to the cross when I drifted. He was strong. He wasn't perfect...he got scared too...and at times frustrated. However, what made him different from me was that he never ended a prayer, even one of questioning, without praising God. Praising Him for his life. Praising Him for his family. Praising Him for his cancer. He would often come home from a doctor's visit, a sub job, a hospital stay, a Chick-fil-a shift, or even a grocery store run with a smile on his face...all because someone asked about the scar on his head. He loved sharing about cancer...because it always gave him an opportunity to share about Christ. He was so thankful for that.

October 2006-December 2010, his faith never wavered. He loved, he fought, he gave, he served, he worshiped, he lived, and he died...all to the glory of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Michael Piatt. A man after God's own heart.

Michael Piatt. A faithful servant with a heart for worship.

Michael Piatt. The man of my dreams.

I can't end this post without sharing this video with you. He and his college buddy Shawn wrote this song for a talent show. Although the lyrics made me absolutely CRAZY back then...I find myself watching it more and more these days. He had a way of making me smile...no matter what he was saying...or what he was doing. Even when he would so passionately sing "The Man Song," I couldn't hold back the laughter! Does this video remind me of happier times? Yes. Does it make me upset sometimes when I see it? Absolutely. It often makes me long for the things that were and sad for the things that are no longer. But then, when I really look at his face...I am filled with joy. You see...he was sick for so long. In this video, however, he is so healthy. So full of energy. So full of life. My prayer is that when you watch it, you too will be filled with joy. That you too would be comforted. Because at this exact moment that handsome smile is back on his face. That energetic body is dancing before the throne and that beautiful voice is singing praises to our King. Praise God!

Michael Piatt. "The Man in the Man Song."

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thankful for "The Unknown"

May, 2000 - Dear Lord... I am scared of the future...of the unknown.


Recently, I found myself flipping through a couple of my old prayer journals. The trend I noticed; especially in my younger years, was a steady and earnest plea for the Lord to take away my fears. Fears of the future. Fears of the unknown. I even came across one desperate entry that begged God to show me a glimpse of my future. I wanted so badly for Him to map out my life. I wanted to know what my tomorrows were going to look like. I wanted to know who I was going to marry. I wanted to know where my life was headed. I wanted to know it all. I wanted to know so that I wouldn't have to worry about it. I wanted to know so that I could stop being so fearful. I wanted to know...for once it is known...there is no longer any "unknown."


As I continued to flip through my journals-past to present-I found myself completely overwhelmed. From childhood to adulthood, HE never changed. When I couldn't spell and my handwriting was too messy to read...HE was there and His Word gave me strength. When adolescence hit and my emotions were all over the place...HE was there and His Word gave me strength. When I went off to college... when I doubted my faith...HE was there and His Word gave me strength. When I got engaged...when I got married...when I started teaching...when cancer hit...when times got hard...HE was there and His Word gave me strength. When leukemia entered our family...when dad passed away...when I found out I was pregnant...when the biopsy results confirmed more tumor....HE was there and His Word gave me strength. When Titus was born...when Michael got weaker...HE was there and His Word gave me strength. When Michael passed away...HE was there...and praise God...His Word gave me strength.


Eleven years ago...had God made known to me the unknown...I would have completely crumbled. I begged God for answers about the future so that I wouldn't have to fear it. Oh, how very confused I was. Had I been given facts about the future, I would have drowned in fear. The very thing I was trying to escape, would have in fact, eaten me alive.


My first thought in all this was, "man, I'm sure glad God didn't answer my prayers back then!" As I continued to ponder, however, these questions came to mind: Did God answer my prayers? Did He calm my fears about the future? Did He ease my anxiety about the unknown? I then began flipping back through those same pages of those same prayer journals with a different outlook and what I found, left me speechless:


December 1998- "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
August 1999- "I will never leave you and I will never forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
June 2001- "Your word, O God, is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path."
November 2002- "I eagerly hope and expect that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always, Christ will  be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Phil. 1:20-21
September 2003- "Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where O death is your victory? Where O death is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15: 54-57
June 2004- ""Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the wold gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
October 2004- "When I said, 'my foot is slipping', your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94: 18-19
April 2006- "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name you are mine."


Wow... God does answer our prayers! His answers may look a little different than expected...but He always answers! You see...I asked for a picture...a movie...a book of my life that I could read. I wanted a timeline. A beginning...a middle...and an end. A map...fully marked with each encounter and destination. However...what God gave me instead, was the promise of "new mercies." New mercies for everyday. He gave me verses then that I can cling to now. It may have been an answer to a prayer and a lesson that has taken me years to see and learn; however, one thing is certain...one thing has been made completely clear...no matter what the future may bring...HE will be there and His Word will give me strength.


March, 2011- Dear Lord...although the future still scares me sometimes...I know it is in your hands...and by your grace, I can honestly and sincerely say,  that I am so very "thankful for the unknown."



Sunday, March 6, 2011

Praise God From Whom All "Blessings" Flow

So often, I find myself utterly amazed. Our Savior is so very compassionate to a people so very undeserving. 

Just recently, I heard Laura Story's "Blessings" on the radio for the first time. My mom and I were driving to town and although we were having a great conversation, it was abruptly halted when the lyrics of this song began. Personally, I was struck speechless as I listened, and after turning the volume up, my eyes filled with tears. "Wow God" I silently cried, "I really needed to hear that." After arriving home, I googled the song. What I found, brought me to more tears. In 2006, shortly after Laura Story was married, her husband was diagnosed with brain cancer. The words of this song came from an overflowing heart...a heart enduring pain, uncertainty, fear, and worry...a heart of a new wife walking along side her precious husband-journeying cancer together...a heart of a young woman striving to to be strong...a heart of a caregiver...a heart of daughter questioning her Father...and the heart of a believer learning to trust. 

As difficult as it is for me to admit...I have found myself angered, frustrated, and even embittered by my current circumstances. Over the last four years, and even recently, I have found myself convinced that I am the only one. The only newlywed struck so devastatingly by brain cancer. 

Wow...how very wrong I have been...how very wrong I am. 

Achingly, my heart cries out, "Oh God forgive me! May my eyes be opened to see others...others who are caught in the same exact storm, others caught in a storm all their own, others who are 'dancing in the rain' right beside me." 


Blessings
Artist: Laura Story
Album: Blessings

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
As long as we have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise