I watched him drive out of the driveway that day and I knew. A few minutes earlier, as he was getting into his car, he had said, “just say No, Brooke. Just say No and I won’t do it.” But I couldn’t. So I just stood there. I shrugged my shoulders, gave a slight smile, bent to kiss him goodbye, and waved as he drove away. I walked back inside and leaned against the door. Our life was about to change. Drastically. I turned to look out the window...and in that moment, though he hadn’t even applied for the job yet, I knew. We were moving to Missouri.
Looking forward is something I always hope to do, but even still, I don’t ever want to forget to look back. For it is in the looking back, that God’s fingerprints are evident and His faithfulness so clearly seen...
6 years ago, when I moved in with my mom, just months after my dad passed away, I remember thinking, how in the world is this going to work? Michael was extremely sick and I was pregnant and everyday was a struggle. Through the tears and in the chaos, mom would gently remind me: “Choose joy, Brooke.”
Titus was born and 3 and half months later, Michael passed away. What was I going to do? How was I going to make it? “Take joy” my Mom would say as she tenderly rocked my infant son.
I started teaching again. Working full time and being a single mother was difficult. I would get overwhelmed, I would cry, I would gripe, and I would fight. Yet, even still, her steady voice made its way through my tired and muddled brain: “Find joy in this.”
Titus went through his terrible twos and as he entered into the terrifying threes I would find myself frustrated. Raising a strong-willed little boy without the strong hand of a father was hard. “Don’t let this steal your joy, Brooke” she would say.
And when I won the trip to Israel, met Bryan, started dating him, and ended up engaged, she would say “Don’t miss the joy in all of this.”
We were married and Silas joined our family 10 months later. His little life has brought so much joy...
and now, we are moving to Missouri.
“Find joy in the journey.” This time, she said it through tears. As I turned towards her sweet and quiet voice, I could barely see her through my own. Packing the house and leaving, after 6 years beside her, hasn’t been easy. And as we drive across the country today, I am in awe of her support and strength.
Born and raised in the lone star state, I’m not sure I know what to think about this whole driving ourselves and belongings across the border thing. It seems wrong somehow. No one is supposed to leave Texas! And in 32 years, I’ve abided by this unspoken but very clear rule. I even attended college, nestled in the piney woods of the oldest town in Texas... and I loved every minute of it!
So yes, I am going to miss Texas. And more importantly, I am going to miss the family and friends that have always surrounded me in this great state. Yet, even still, I have an unexplainable peace about the new place God has called our little family of four to.
How can I doubt a God who has held my heart so perfectly in His hands and has reminded me over and over of His faithfulness? His faithfulness in the midst of the storm and His goodness in the light of the sunshine.
I can take joy! No matter what. Not because I have a perfect life and a positive outlook but because I serve a perfect God and a gracious Savior who has rescued me from the snares of death and has covered me with His steadfast love.
So, a big Howdy, Yeehaw, and Giddy Up to you Texas!
And although I am not quite sure about you yet Missouri, I do know one thing...
no matter where God calls us to go,
this handful of Haradas will,
till our last heaving breath,
“find joy in the journey!”
