"My Father's Eyes"

Unfortunately, I was one of those kids. A little too confident when I probably shouldn't have been. It was early to mid 90's, and I truly felt as though I rocked the side pony tail and my first pair of eye glasses. I had a Coca-Cola hair bow and popcorn pieces painted on my bright blue socks. I definitely knew how to work it back then! And let's not forget about the teal green cassette Walkman clipped to my lovely and very pleated orange shorts. Man...I was cool!

I had just bought that Walkman with my own money and I was pumped! So, for Christmas that year...I asked for cassettes! Oh the cassettes! They came in waves from family members! To make things even more fun, I got a matching teal green cassette case to put them all in! I felt on top of the world! 

Although I can't remember half of the cassettes that were in that case...one clearly sticks out in my mind: Amy Grant's "Father's Eyes." I used to sing the hit song on that cassette over and over. I would walk around the house, with my headphones on, and completely annoy my brother and sister with my loud singing of those lyrics. Their response to my annoyance was pretty brutal. They would first make fun of me for listening to Amy Grant, and second, they would tell me that I sounded awful! Deep down, however, I knew they were just jealous. I knew that I sounded just like her...if not better! :)

Even now, when I think about the song "Father's Eyes," I can't help but smile. I remember that teal Walkman and I can still hear those lyrics...word for word.

The song is about a woman wanting desperately to reflect her Heavenly Father in all things. When people look her direction, she doesn't want them to see her, she wants them to see Christ. When they look into her eyes...she wants them to see her "Father's eyes."

As a girl...this song intrigued me. To be quite honest, I am not sure why. Maybe it is because I liked all the "runs" in the music. (Despite what my siblings thought about it, I personally felt as though I sang them quite well!) Maybe it was because the song was super slooowww and it didn't take me long to memorize it. Or maybe the whole "Father" thing intrigued me. I guess I had never really thought about God being our "Heavenly Father" before. The thought of Him being real and having eyes definitely made me think. My mom and sister had brown eyes. My dad and brother had blue eyes. My eyes were green. Who were my eyes like? Thinking that my eyes could look just like His fascinated me. And so I sang...at the top of my lungs...I sang! :) 

Now that I am older, I see things a little differently. 

Having the eyes of Christ. Living a life that brings glory to God in all things. Proclaiming Him in all situations. Seeing people as God sees them. Feeling their pain. Having compassion. Loving, forgiving, trusting, obeying. Clinging to the cross. Reflecting Him...no matter what.

I can't help but think about Michael. He always saw the good in things...the good in people. He wanted so desperately to see things the way God saw them. He truly had his Heavenly Father's eyes. 

Michael had six surgeries throughout the four years he fought brain cancer. Five of those surgeries were done at the MDAnderson Cancer Center in Houston. All five of them were done by Dr. Jeffrey Weinberg.

This past weekend, many of us had the privilege of running a 5K in honor of Michael. The Run for the Rose event was held on April 10th at Reliant Park in Houston. The Run raised over $440,000 for brain cancer research. The entire event was an incredible thing to be a part of. 

At the starting line, I ran in to Dr. Weinberg. He was a part of the medical team for the race. I hadn't seen him in over a year and I was thrilled that I had a brief opportunity to thank him in person for all his efforts in Michael's treatment. He and his team are remarkable.  They were so good to us and treated us like family during our entire journey at MDAnderson. Although the thought of another brain surgery had both Michael and I on edge at times, when Dr. Weinberg and his nurse walked into the room, we were put at ease immediately. They have an unbelievably hard job to do, and they do it so very well. They never gave up on us, and for that, I will forever be grateful. 

After I crossed the finish line, I saw him again. This time...I was able to talk to him a bit longer. I got to talking about Titus and I told Dr. Weinberg that he looked just like Michael. He had his hair, his coloring, and his eyes. Dr. Weinberg looked at me, smiled, and said "well, I can't honestly say that I ever saw Michael with hair...but I do remember his eyes." After a little while, my mom came over with Titus. When Dr. Weinberg saw him...he just kept saying "wow, he really does have Michael's eyes." His family was also at the race and when he introduced us, he said to his wife "this little guy has his daddy's eyes." 

People say that all the time: "Titus has Michael's eyes." I always smile when I hear that. I loved Michael's eyes. They were a beautiful blue. They were slightly slanted and had a "puppy dog" feel to them. They were absolutely precious. It fills my heart with joy to know that Titus has those same eyes. 

His father's eyes. 

May Titus grow to love you Lord. May he learn to see things like you do. May his beautiful blue eyes, that look so much like his earthly father's eyes, reflect You. May they reflect Your Son. As he grows older, may his heart's cry be...just like his daddy's was..."I want My Father's Eyes!"